Dear Parishioners,
In the first story of creation, we see the power of God. God said and it was done as soon as he said it. Wouldn’t parents like to have that kind of power over their children? When He said “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” (Gen 1:26), it was the high point of creation. However, it was impersonal; he simply said it, and it came to be. But the second story of creation shows God taking a more personal interest. God “formed man out of the clay of the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life, and so man became a living being.” But God didn’t stop there, for as the old saying goes “No man is an island.” And so he formed Eve from the side of Adam to be a help mate, wife, and mother. God is good!
There are great blessings and joys in marriage, children, new homes, new jobs, mutual support and encouragement, moves to different states and sometimes countries, family vacations, and companionship in the later years. The devotion between couples married 50, 60, or even 70 years is truly an inspiration.
Still it’s not all sweetness and light. Differences arise, arguments take place, and personalities change. Personality quirks once so interesting become annoyances, and patience sometimes gives way to rude/ hurtful remarks. Marriage can be challenging and difficult at times; so divorce becomes an option. What to do? Pope Francis, in a speech, shared three words to head off divorce—permission, gratitude, and forgiveness. On the topic of permission, the Pope said, “always ask your spouse ‘what do you think, what do you think of this?’” rather than running over the other without getting their opinion.
He also stressed the need to be grateful, “because it’s the spouses who confer the sacrament of marriage, one to the other. And this sacramental relationship is maintained with this sentiment of gratitude of thanks.”
The third word he noted is forgiveness which is “a very hard word to say.” In marriage, mistakes are always made, he said, noting that the important thing is to know how to recognize one’s mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Permission, thank you, forgiveness—three words to remember to which I would add one more: crucifix. It would be good to have one hanging in the bedroom as a reminder that real love demands sacrifice—“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
Fr. Carl
